Have you made it through the holidays with your family without any interpersonal friction?
Okay, let me be more blunt.
Were there any "skunks at the picnic" when y'all got together over Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas? If no, then tomorrow night (New Year's Eve) may be yet another opportunity.
If there were any family slights, then they likely were over nothing significant and never materialized into a squall.
Emotions run high during the holidays.
Understatement.
On the other hand, let's pretend that your family is gathering, not for a holiday together, but after a family member has passed away.
What if the disposition of the estate is not in alignment with the expectations of one or more family members?
[Translation: Someone is not a happy cat.]
In such instances, to paraphrase Uncle Billy in "It's a Wonderful Life," there may be a family squall shaping up into a storm in your family!
In most instances, it could all have been avoided.
How?
Communication.
As a recent article in The Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof Blog, titled “Using Family Meetings to Smooth Over and Explain Estate Transitions,” puts it:
Family fighting over estate plans and court challenges are sometimes unavoidable. When people feel slighted or have grievances, they often feel compelled to fight to the end. However, it might help avoid court challenges to your estate plan if you gave your family a chance to express their feelings before you pass away.
Unfortunately, when folks believe they have been treated unfairly in an estate plan, they often head right to the court house to challenge the plan.
For these folks, they see litigation as their only opportunity to get the estate plan changed and made right by publicly airing their grievances.
Again, the solution is communication.
And it does not need to be in conjunction with a family holiday gathering.
In fact, the notion of a "family meeting" is rather simple conceptually.
You can call a family meeting, inviting everyone with a potential stake in your estate plan.
[You should not allow any hard liquor or firearms at the meeting.]
At the meeting discuss how your estate planning distributions are to be handled and, even more important, why.
Then, open the floor to feedback.
This will give your family an opportunity to engage in dialogue about it now, instead of retaining a litigator later.
Speak now or forever hold your peace, so to speak.
Naturally, a family meeting regarding an estate plan is not necessary for most families.
On the other hand, in those situations where it is necessary, this approach can save not only all of the financial costs of litigation, but also the more important emotional and relational costs of litigation.
Ask your estate planning attorney about whether a family meeting would benefit you and your loved ones.
Heck, you may want your attorney to attend and be the facilitator.
Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.
Reference: Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof Blog (December 7, 2015) “Using Family Meetings To Smooth Over And Explain Estate Transitions.”
Comments