Kansas and Missouri Estate Planning

How are Baby Boomers Preparing for Long-Term Caregiving?

Caregiving can be both rewarding and costly.

Are you a Baby Boomer?

Do you have aging parents?

As people age, long-term care becomes a reality.

In fact, most over age 70 will require long-term care at some point.

Many Baby Boomers want to provide this help for their aging loved ones.

According to a recent Think Advisor article titled “Long-Term Caregiving Realities Hit Home for Boomers,” serving as a caregiver may require you to make several sacrifices.

How so?

You may need to cut your spending, travel less frequently, move homes, work fewer hours, or even quit your job.

Many who help their parents also need to come to terms with their own future needs.

As a result, they tend to have the conversations about their wishes for care and how to pay for it.

The problem?

Providing care for a loved ones often involves caregivers dipping into their own retirement savings, let alone helping children who may still be in college.

Consequently, those who provide care have a better grasp on the options available to provide for long-term care, to include the insurance options.

As Baby Boomers age, they should understand and come to grips with the fact that their own children may not be viable option for caregiving.

Why?

Older Americans are projected to vastly outnumber younger Americans.

If you have more female family members, your chances of having a loved one help with care may be higher.

The reason?

Most caregivers are women.

As you help your parents and plan for your own future, you should be mindful of your estate planning.

Making these decisions and having these important conversations sooner rather than later benefits everyone involved.

Reference: Think Advisor (August 8, 2019) “Long-Term Caregiving Realities Hit Home for Boomers”

What are Some Practical Pointers for the "Sandwich Generation"?

Those in the sandwich generation have plenty of responsibilities.

The sandwich generation.

What does this mean? 

According to the recent Press-Enterprise article titled “3 tips for anyone in the sandwich generation,” the sandwich generation refers to those who must care for and support their own children and their aging parents.

Typically these individuals are in their 30s and 40s.

These individuals have a lot of responsibilities financially and a lot of demands on their time.

Often this can be hard on careers, families, and the caregivers.

Is there a way to minimize the strain?

Yes.

A good place to start is to talk about finances with your parents and your children.

Discuss budgets and set expectations.

This will also be a good time to encourage your parents to review or update their estate planning documents with an experienced estate planning attorney.

This will help your parents protect and preserve their assets.

An experienced attorney will be able to help you navigate such issues with compassion and wisdom.

Remember, it is good to ask for help.

This could mean getting a house cleaner to assist you with your own chores.

It could also mean including other families members in the caretaking responsibilities.

Perhaps your own children can assist their grandparents around the house.

Finally, do not allow feelings of guilt to creep into your life.

You have a lot of responsibilities as it is.

Take everything one day at a time.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: (Riverside CA) Press-Enterprise (June 28, 2018) “3 tips for anyone in the sandwich generation”

How can I Prepare to "Parent" My Parents?

As parents age, they will require help.

It is inevitable.

People get older.

As this happens, their health begins to decline.

Declining health means an increased need for help.

According to a recent Fox Business article titled “Aging parents are the new ‘children,’” adult children are more often than not providing this care for their parents.

Aging looks different for each individual.

For some, issues are primarily physical.

Others decline mentally with dementia or Alzheimer’s.

Some are affected by both equally.

If you are an adult child, who is or will be providing care for your aging parents, then you should plan ahead to set yourself up for success.

How?

Talk as a family.

Sit down with your parents while they are still healthy to discuss their aging and their wishes.

Your parents should know the level of autonomy they would like to keep.

They will also need to discuss health care wishes with you, as well as the state of their finances.

Gather and create necessary documents.

Do your parents have an estate plan?

This should include an advance health care directive, a general durable power of attorney (for financial matters), a last will and testament, and, perhaps, a funded revocable living trust.

While you are at it, make sure you have a handle on their medical history.

Assess financial need.

Caretaking is expensive.

It takes time, money, and sacrifice.

Your parents should have a plan for paying for care.

Long-term care insurance may be a viable option.

In the end, you and your siblings may need to step up and share the costs.

Be proactive.

Health can decline quickly.

Check on your parents regularly and note any signs of needing help.

If they require greater help than you can provide, help arrange for assistance.

You cannot stop aging, but you and your folks can prepare to face it together by planning ahead.

Be very careful how you take care of your aging parents.

Your own children are watching.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: Fox Business (May 25, 2018) “Aging parents are the new ‘children’”

Are Caregivers Paying for the Care of Senior Loved Ones?

Many caregivers use their own money to provide for aging loved ones.

Chances are you would do anything for family.

Your parents made sacrifices for you as you grew up.

As your parents age, they will likely need help from you.

In fact, many children serve as caregivers for their senior parents.

According to a recent Think Advisor article titled “Americans Are Spending More but Planning Less for Caregiving: Northwestern Mutual,” this can cost more than time and energy.

Many members of Generation X and the Millennial generation are finding finances to be tight as they care for their parents and for their own families.

According to the 2018 Northwestern Mutual C.A.R.E. Study, 22 percent of survey responders expected to become caregivers soon, while 30 percent were either current or past caregivers.

Nearly half had planned to provide care for their aging parents, but many were unprepared for the financial toll it would take.

Why?

Nearly 70 percent of caregivers use their own finances to support their loved ones.

In fact, 21 to 100 percent of their monthly budget is allocated to caregiving.

For example, the average spending for medical supplies per month is $273 and the average cost of food is $159.

Can you start preparing now?

Yes.

Unfortunately, about 48 percent of those who expect to provide care in the future have not made any plans regarding how they will handle the financial aspects of the role.

How can you help your children if you plan to make them your caregivers?

Plan now.

About one quarter of surveyed Americans have begun planning for their own long-term care needs.

These individuals have taken steps like purchasing a long-term care product, increasing their savings, and including provisions in their financial plan.

Lastly, if you are expecting your loved one to provide care, share your wishes with them.

I do "eat my own cooking," too.

Gretchen and I have had long-term care insurance since 2009.

It is great peace of mind for ourselves, let alone our three adult daughters.

When it comes to how you "honor" your father and mothers, I always remind my clients to be very, very careful.

Why?

Your own children are watching.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: Think Advisor (March 15, 2018) “Americans Are Spending More but Planning Less for Caregiving: Northwestern Mutual”

Is a "Granny Pod" a Good Option for My Parents?

Granny pods can provide independence and proximity.

Your parents are getting older.

They want their independence.

But they also need your help.

You will be the one providing their care.

According to a recent AARP article titled “Granny Pods Are Becoming a Popular Housing Alternative,” you are not alone.

In fact, about 23 million Americans are providing care for their aging parents.

This often means your parents will need to move closer to you.

What if they cannot afford a home near you?

What if you do not have room in your own home?

What if you have room in your home, but it is not designed for accessibility?

Do you have option?

Yes.

One such option is a Granny Pod.

What is a Granny Pod?

A Granny Pod is a micro-home.

These can be small enough to fit into a backyard but can also include a family room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.

They are designed for accessibility.

How much would one of these houses cost?

This depends on the features.

The price can range anywhere from $50,000 to $250,000.

One of these cottages may be a great idea for your parents.

Even so, they are not desirable for everyone.

Be sure to discuss all options with your parents and, of course, your local zoning folks.

Communication is important to creating the best plan for everyone involved.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: AARP (September 11, 2017) “Granny Pods Are Becoming a Popular Housing Alternative”

How Do I Bring Up the Topic of Money With My Parents?

Talking about money at any age can be uncomfortable.

Your parents are getting older.

They are fiercely independent, but you know they need help.

What do you do?

According to a recent nj.com article titled “When your older parent refuses help,” remind them you care and want to help them maintain their independence as long as possible.

This requires open conversations and planning.

It must occur while they still have capacity to make these decisions.

What should you discuss?

Caregiving

What will happen if one of your parents falls or gets hurt?

Who will take care of them?

You should know who will provide care and how they will be compensated.

Decision making

Who will make financial and medical decisions when your parents are no longer able to do so?

Encourage them to work with an experienced estate planning attorney to create a general durable power of attorney and an advance health care directive inked.

ASAP.

The power of attorney deals with finances.

The advance health care directive deals with medical issues.

Geriatric care

It could be wise to find a doctor who specializes in working with the elderly.

An elder law attorney can also be helpful in assessing needs and how to plan for them.

By addressing these issues now, you will help these most dearly loved loved ones remain independent as long as possible.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: nj.com (October 11, 2017) “When your older parent refuses help”

What Should You Know as a Caregiver to Your Parents?

Being a caregiver is no simple commitment.

Have your parents reached a point where they are needing a caregiver?

Will you be the one providing the care?

If yes, then there are a few details you should consider.

With planning, this responsibility can be less costly and less daunting for you.

According to a recent MarketWatch’s article titled “Read this before becoming your parents’ caregiver,” being a caregiver may require financial and career sacrifices.

If you are a full-time or long-term caregiver, you will likely need to limit your work schedule, sacrifice a promotion or tap into your own family budget or retirement savings to provided care.

Some caregivers may be able to maintain normal family life and a full career while providing care, but not everyone can.

What should you do?

Plan and communicate.

Talk with your siblings and parents about setting realistic expectations.

You can divide responsibilities or set up a system for financial compensation.

A good way to do this?

Use a Personal Care Agreement.

What will this do?

A lot.

It can outline responsibilities, time and compensation.

The result?

You can proactively safeguard your family life, your retirement, your career and your relationships from misunderstandings or issues arising from being the caregiver.

Your siblings will know how to support you and have an incentive to do so.

Work with an experienced estate planning or elder law attorney to create this agreement specifically for your family.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: MarketWatch (February 22, 2017) “Read this before becoming your parents’ caregiver”

What Effect does Providing Elder Care have on Working Women?

When it comes to providing care for an aging family member, a woman tends to be the primary caregiver.

Have you ever heard of the "daughter syndrome"?

Are you a working woman?

Do you have an aging parent or in-law who will soon be needing in-home care?

If so, you are likely going to be the primary one providing the care your loved one needs, according to a study reported by The University of Buffalo Now titled “Elder caregiving a growing burden to women in mid-career.”

Where did the numbers for the report originate?

The study used data gathered from about 9,500 women over two decades by the University of Michigan.

What do the results of the report mean for you?

As a caregiver, you will likely work fewer hours at your job.

According to the study presented at the Women Working Longer Conference hosted by the National Bureau of Economic Research, women caregivers are 8 percent less likely to work.

What about after providing the elder care?

These women were 4 percent less likely to be holding a job.

According to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners, about 10 percent of caregivers will decrease the hours they work.

Six percent will leave their jobs completely, while 17 percent merely take a leave of absence.

About 4 percent of female workers who are also caregivers will decline a promotion to continue their caregiving responsibilities.

As the generations age, the odds are you will be a caregiver.

Currently, millions of women are caring for in-laws or parents.

The needs of caregiving are increasing.

Women are the ones doing most of this work.

Thirty-three percent have given care to a spouse, in-law or parent.

Most of these caregivers are about 56 years old.

Unless the caregiving is for a spouse.

Then caregivers tend to be older.

Usually late 60s.

The elderly will need help.

About 69 percent will need assistance with daily living.

What might these activities include?

• Bathing
• Eating
• Dressing

Twenty percent will need help for five or more years.

Obviously, daughters and wives are vital to elder care.

How vital?

According to a 2011 study for the AARP Public Policy Institute, the estimated value of informal family care more than doubled professional care in 2009 at $450 billion.

Wow.

If you are a woman who is providing care, thank you.

If not, take time to thank the women who provide care for aging loved ones.

Chances are they are making sacrifices.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: The University of Buffalo Now (November 29, 2016) “Elder caregiving a growing burden to women in mid-career”

How Can I Be of Prudent and Practical Help to My Aging Parents?

As your parents get older, they will rely on you more than ever.

Your mom and dad reared you and cared for you.

They changed your diapers, nursed you when you were sick and drove you to your practices and appointments.

The roles have flipped.

You are now their financial manager, caretaker, encourager and maybe even chauffeur.

What more could your parents need?

According to an AARP article titled “How to Be an Effective Advocate for Aging Parents,” your parents need an advocate.

How can you fill this role?

Be observant.

Even small shifts in mood, health or ability can be connected to a greater issue.

Being attentive can help you catch those problems earlier.

Similarly, not everyone has a high ethical standard.

Be sure your parents are receiving the care and services they need.

Get organized.

Caring for your parents is multifaceted.

Being organized is vital, especially when it comes to legal documents like a power of attorney for health care or finances.

Communicate.

Strong professional relationships will make working with attorneys, doctors and aides far more pleasant and predictable.

The best way to do this?

Be respectful.

Listen first then clearly speak your concerns without letting your emotions take over.

Gratitude goes a long way.

Ask questions.

Chances are there will be much to learn about the finances, legal matters and the health of your loved one.

Educate yourself and take notes.

By seeking answers to your questions (and theirs), you will be better able to help.

Be persistent.

Take the role of advocate seriously.

You will hit walls.

You will mess up.

Get back up and keep going.

Do not do this alone.

Seek out the help of an experienced estate planning attorney for advice and assistance as needed.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: AARP (November 1, 2016) “How to Be an Effective Advocate for Aging Parents”

What Should I Do if My Adult Children Are Helping Too Much?

There is a fine line between thoughtful assistance and suffocating support.

Are you getting older and needing more help from your children with any of the activities of daily living?

According to a recent Money article, titled “Here’s What Your Aging Parents Say They Want You to Do for Them,” your children are probably more than willing to help care for you. The article reviewed findings from the new Family & Finance report by Fidelity Investments.

What exactly did the study find?

After interviewing one parent and one adult child from each family involved in the survey regarding topics like retirement income, estate planning and elder care, Fidelity found about 40% of families disagree on the roles children should take as the parents get older.

Specifics?

Financial Dependency

Fully 90% of parents do not want to depend on their children financially; however, 30% of children disagree. In fact, 25% already expect and plan to support their parents when it comes to finances.

Financial Assistance

It seems 70% of parents would like help in managing retirement income and investments, but 36% of children were unaware of this expectation.

And 70% of parents would like assistance with their budgets, bills and household expenses. Unfortunately, 44% of children did not know help was wanted in this area.

Those are some pretty important topics and significant differences of opinions.

No family can afford these inconsistent expectations.

What could go wrong?

Plenty.

Your children may be unable to access necessary paperwork at the proper time, leading to delays, greater expenses and poor care.

Do not let this happen to you.

What should you do?

Do not wait for health or financial crises to happen. Be proactive.

The reason for these misunderstandings is a lack of communication and planning.

Talk to your children now.

What should you discuss with them?

• Long-term care
• Living expenses in retirement
• Estate planning
• The location of important documents

By having an open and honest conversation now, your family will be on the same page.

And, ultimately, you will all be happier.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri), visit our estate planning website and be sure to subscribe to our complimentary estate planning e-newsletter while you are there.

Reference: Money (June 28, 2016) “Here’s What Your Aging Parents Say They Want You to Do for Them”