Kansas and Missouri Estate Planning

Dealing with the "Stuff" in Your Estate ... Now

People fight over the darndest things. In fact, the object which triggered the quarrel may have no intrinsic value at all ... other than the good tinder for a tussle.

Have you planned for the orderly distribution of the "stuff" in your estate?

I prepared my first estate plan 30 years ago next month. There are very few things I have not seen, to include some real messes.

One thing you can do to avoid messes is to determine now what will have with your non-titled (i.e., "tangible personal") property later. Think all of your stuff that does not have a title certificate, deed or account number associated with it.

The ceramic frog collection, for example.

This was the subject of a recent article in the Hays (Kansas) Daily News, titled “Discussion might ease transfer of family heirlooms.”

Unfortunately, decisions about non-titled property are not often made during ideal circumstances. Many times these decisions are made during in times of transition, like remarriage, the down-sizing of the family home, or during a family crisis like a death or moving an elderly family member to a health care facility.

This whole decision-making process is more challenging and sensitive when family members are emotional and focusing on these other events. While not easy, the original article says decisions about the transfer of personal property have the potential to be a time to reminisce, share memories, or together work through the grieving process.

There is no magic formula or solution available for transferring personal property. Every family and their possessions are different.

However, you should bear in mind some critical factors, to include:  

• Understanding the sensitivity of the issue for both owner and heirs.
• Determining what you want to accomplish in the transfer process.
• Deciding what's "fair" in your family.
• Recognizing that belongings have different meanings for different people.
• Exploring distribution options and consequences.
• Agreeing to manage conflicts if they arise.

Property owners have the legal right to decide when and how to transfer their non-titled property.

When this is before death, it allows the owner to consider the wishes of recipients and enjoy the gifting process. If this is done after a death, there is a good chance the disbursal might not reflect the wishes of the owner. When you add to this emotions and an individual's sense of entitlement, then it is hard to know in these circumstances what is "fair."

This can be the source of real conflict.

In a worst case scenario, disputes about an inheritance might causes siblings to break off relationships with each other.

Transferring non-titled personal property takes time, as well as physical and emotional energy. This holiday season might be a good time to begin conversations about family belongings.

More open and honest communication among the people involved is always a good thing and can make these arrangements smoother with less conflict.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri) and to download free tools to help you organize your estate, visit my estate planning website.

Reference: The Hays (Kansas) Daily News (November 27, 2014) “Discussion might ease transfer of family heirlooms”

Avoiding Family Feuds Over "Stuff" / Overland Park, KS

“Money isn’t everything.” That is what most of us think when we hear about heirs fighting over an inheritance. Nevertheless, it is a truth many heirs know all too well. 

Yes, sometimes heirs fight – even reasonable and emotionally upright ones – especially because money is not everything. No, there also is "stuff" in about every estate, large or small.

So, how you split up priceless family artifacts and other physical goods can start or end fights before they happen. How do you plan to fairly spread the relics and keep the peace?

Sure, there are many inheritance fights over dollars and cents. On the other hand, there even more fights, leading to protracted probate battles and just plain old hurt feelings over the disposition of physical goods, relics and family keepsakes.

Unfortunately, it can be more difficult to plan for the disposition of “stuff” in contrast to cash in Overland Park and elsewhere.

As you being to think about your estate in this light and figuring out who wants what, you might want to consider the insights provided in a recent article in Consumer Reports, aptly titled “How to spare your heirs a battle over your estate.”

Oftentimes, physical items are difficult to split up. For example, it can be difficult to simply tear the painting in half, divide a book, or even, realistically, split a set of china. To end a debate about which direction an item will go, to one heir or the other, you have to write it down. A will is simply not enough, generally speaking. It is hard to capture the kind of detail needed. Consequently, the matter will go straight into probate.

Thankfully, many states like Kansas and Missouri allow you to attach a more informal writing to your last will – a document that offers a list of “what” and “to whom”, and is far more easily updated. No one, however, can make the often tough distribution decisions and create the list for you.

This list is one of those many little tasks to take on as part of the overall plan, and one you must keep updating as you acquire or lose this or that asset or family heirloom.

This also is a topic worth discussing with your heirs. That way you, and they, will know what things they may want (or do not want). After all, with heirloom fights it is often an emotional connection to an object at the heart of the matter rather than its intrinsic value. Remember, it isn't not always about the money, because money isn’t everything.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri) and to download free tools to help you organize your estate, visit my estate planning website.

Reference:  ConsumerReport.org (April 2014) “How to spare your heirs a battle over your estate”

Objects of inheritance seem to be imbued with a special power. This is oftentimes the case, whether the family is aware of it yet or not. As one sitting down to put your intentions to paper, or even as the inheritor, it is a power worth pondering.

When it comes to their tangible personal property (i.e., heirlooms), estate planning parents commonly fail to make considered and thoughtful plans for their distribution.

Nevertheless, more often than not, it is the family that sees the peculiar power of an heirloom. Maybe it is something well-loved and fought over. On the other hand, the heirloom may simply provide the tinder to which a disgruntled heir may choose to set match and light a fire.

Recently, Forbes considered this common source of family discord in an article titled “When It's Time To Part With Family Heirlooms, And Why I Gave Away Grandpa Oscar's Violin.”

This article provides fresh insights into the kinds of special moments an inherited object can bring to a family well after the loved one has past. In this instance, each family member had a piece of the story behind this particular violin chronicled in the original article, and, therefore, they all walked away learning a bit more about "Grandpa Oscar."

You cannot make all of the mistakes in life yourself, so it is best to learn from the trials (and errors) of others. Be sure to read the original article as it is really far from a tale of fighting, divvying up, or even the maximizing sale returns.

Remember: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When making your financial, tax and estate plans, do not go it alone. Be sure to engage competent professional counsel.

For more information about estate planning in Overland Park, KS (and throughout the rest of Kansas and Missouri) and to download free tools to help you organize your estate, visit my estate planning website.

Reference: Forbes (March 31, 2014) “When It's Time To Part With Family Heirlooms, And Why I Gave Away Grandpa Oscar's Violin”